no direction.

my life.
this post.
who knows where either are going.
I haven’t written a real post in awhile, and I don’t feel like reading about urban geography, so I guess its the opportune time to write.

well, I’m completely settled back into the school grind. and thats good mostly. I have to challenge myself to look around and actually be aware of the world around me. at camp I was forced to take note of my surroundings or I would’ve been the worst counselor in the world. but here its so easy to move along mckinley without bothering to see who’s walking next to me or towards me that might need a smile.

but on the positive outlook, my life has structure again. the two weeks between camp and school, I thought I was going to lose it. I’m not saying I have every second of my day scheduled out, but its nice to wake up at 7:45 every morning, have set classes and meetings, and non-threatening post-it note to do lists.

and while thats great, I still struggle with keeping focus. why am I here? I probably ask myself that every other day. obviously to get my planning degree. but some days I question if I really want a planning degree. and yeah, I do, but often I look back at the past two years and wonder if I’ve learned anything in class that well help me bring life to the “dead” of the inner city. great. I’ve laid out a bus stop. so cool. I’ve figured out the differences between urban and suburban development. fantastic. I’ve gotten better at sketching. ya know?

ha, when did I become so cynical?

in other news, I’ve finally found a church to call home. www.urbanlightmuncie.com . seriously. a church that founded its own CDC? umm yep. so thats exciting. I’m hoping I can hang out at some CDC meetings and see what they’re like. 

if you can’t tell, I’m just a restless mess right now. I just need to accept that this is where I am so I’ve just gotta do what I’m supposed to be doing. easy enough.

nope.